• Daily Life,  Health,  Now Playing

    004. And build something better this time…

    October 18, 2026

    Like Aaron Lewis famously sang, “It’s been a while.”

    I always promise myself that I’m going to do better with updating, with posting, with sharing, and I get myself all excited to do so, but then Life is always like, “hold my beer,” and everything gets away from me again. As the saying goes… Life has been lifeing.

    My surgery is finally happening on Tuesday. After 5 long years of waiting and going back and forth and subjecting myself to all sorts of medical testing, I was finally granted an audience with my surgeon, and she agreed that the SADI-S procedure (single anastomosis duodeno-ileal bypass with sleeve gastrectomy) was best for me. I have been on a preoperative liquid diet since September 1, which has made me absolutely miserable, but I have lost almost 40 lbs while on it.

    Being on a liquid diet certainly made Thanksgiving interesting. I spent 3 days cooking food that I couldn’t even have a taste of, and I got to sit there and watch it be consumed. Holiday dinners have always been the highlight of my year, so I am still applauding myself that I made it through without bursting into tears. Matthew didn’t come to dinner, as I knew he wouldn’t, and my mother-in-law declined, but my sister and brother-in-law were there. I made too much, so my fridge is still overflowing with leftovers, but I know that by Yule, I may be able to entertain a little bit of what I make.

    Hopefully by then I’ll be on soft foods, at least.

    Having my surgery right before Samhain has made that a bit of a bust as well. I did buy a costume that I will be wearing, but I won’t know how much I will be up for in regard to celebration until after my procedure. If things are going well and my pain is under control, I plan to go trick-or-treating with my girls and my Charlie, and while I will not be able to have any candy or treats, I’m going to figure out how to make a high-protein autumn beverage while I watch “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!” like I always do.

    I would be lying if I said I wasn’t emotional during this whole process. I never really connected the dots in my own life about how much food is such an integral part of me. I love to cook; I love to share what I make with my family; I love to know that my family is fed. Also, the dinner table is an essential part of my household. That’s the one time of the day that I get to spend with my family and talk about our day, among other things, and we’re connected. Not being able to take part in that fully has been a bit devastating for me. I also got a bit emotional that I cannot indulge in my usual little fall treats, and it almost feels like I’ve been robbed. And then I get emotional because that sounds so ridiculous to me, and when I try to voice it aloud, I burst into tears because of how ridiculous it sounds. I’ve not been robbed; there will be autumn treats next year, even if they are a bit different. I am doing this for my health. I am doing this because I don’t want to die of pancreatic cancer from diabetes, as my mother did. I want to be around for my daughters as long as humanly possible. I am already a “geriatric mom” by societal standards. I had my Autumn at the age of 35. I want to be here for her.

    I’ve been debating how much of my bariatric journey I want to share here. Photos, musings, etc. I’ve decided it might be for the best, because what I’m going through is part of my story, and that was the whole point of keeping a blog going after I wasn’t so sure that I wanted to keep going after the abandonment of my last one.

    I really should be in bed at the moment. I’m supposed to be up in a few hours to pack and get everything ready to leave. Instead, I am typing this up and listening to Melanie Martinez because “Hades” is a wonderful album and her voice is very soothing to me.

    I will be in Richmond for a week. I am going to take a lot of pictures, and I will share my experience when I get home.

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  • Craft,  Daily Life

    003. Fire, fire, burning bright…

    July 30, 2026

    Right now, there is a 3900+ hectare fire that is burning approximately 40 km from my house, and this last week or so that it’s been burning has been exhausting. From the smoke, to the heat, to the fact that the fire is making its own lightening and causing other spot fires… my anxiety and my blood pressure have been through the roof.

    Credit: Cariboo Wildfires & BC Information and Safety Page.

    So far, I have been very fortunate. The fire got very large very quickly, yes, but it (so far) hasn’t moved towards the valley that I live in. With the little bit of rain and the cooling temperatures that we’ve had, the fire crews have made excellent progress with getting barriers set up. Thankfully, after the initial big boom, the fire hasn’t expanded much more than the size it currently is and the wind seems to be just moving the smoke around instead of spreading the fire.

    The first night I didn’t sleep much – I kept waking up during the night and checking the evacuation alerts and looking for updates. I kept having flashbacks from when I was evacuated in 2017. Back then, the fire was in the valley and once I turned off my road and onto the main road that connects to the highway, the fire was literally right there in the ditch. Then we were evacuated and I had to spend 1 week in Williams Lake, and then when Williams Lake was evacuated, I had to spend 2 weeks in Prince George. Three weeks in constant fear, constant anxiety, trying to keep it together for my Emilie (who was 4 at the time) and not pull my own hair out.

    I lived through it. I know I could do it again if I had to, but man… the PTSD is real and it’s exhausting. Having flashbacks of the flames and then being shoved into a space to live with strangers… I had to start taking my melatonin again.

    Which… I’m wondering if that was a good idea, because now I’m having LotR-style dreams where I’m doing side quests and going on adventures in Middle Earth with Erling Haaland and I just wake up confused.

    Haaland is scared of himself.

    Don’t ask.

    Of course, I know how fortunate I’ve been this fire season, and I am so grateful. So many have lost their homes and communities this year so far, not just in BC, but across the country. I feel especially bad for the Namaygoosisagagun First Nation in northern Ontario, who had to be evacuated from their homes by boat, and they lost their entire community.

    I’ve been offline a lot this month since the fires really got bad because scrolling through Threads and Facebook was really disheartening. The amount of hate spewed my country’s way from Americans was just ridiculous. And the fact that some Americans, especially some in the government, clearly don’t understand anything about climate science or how meteorology works, and just blamed us and put more tarriffs on us… it’s a bunch of bullshit, if you ask me. It made me sad, and I had to click off social media for a bit for my own mental health. I don’t know what I was more sad about though… the fact that it was said, or the fact that I let it upset me. I didn’t want to think about it too much, so I just clicked off and instead spent my screentime watching ridiculous streamer drama on YouTube.

    In other life news… my diploma finally came in. I’m trying to find a nice frame for it, so that I can put it with my other ones in my office. This weekend is the long weekend, and no matter how bad the smoke it, I have a patch of rather aggressive milk thistles I need to take out, because they’re blocking my access to the side door of the garage. I don’t know how they multiplied so fast, but I guess that’s why they’re considered an invasive species. I haven’t been able to find anything to take care of the ant hills yet… everytime I go to the store, the spots on the shelves for ant killer are empty. I’ve gone to multiple places, so I must not be the only one struggling with ants. There are always plenty of options if I get invaded by spiders, though.

    Oh! And I am super excited about this and wanted to share; Tenae Stewart, the Witch of Lupine Hollow, is hosting another one of her summits starting next week – The Priestess Within. Make sure to grab your free ticket before it starts on August 3. Tenae’s summits are always a highlight for me, and this one is going to be great.

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  • Daily Life,  Now Playing

    002. Falling into old habits.

    July 14, 2026

    My goodness, I am a bit of shit sometimes. One of the problems with setting up WordPress through Softaculous is that it sets my username and password for me. I promised myself that I wouldn’t lose my login information and I would write it down in a place where I could keep it safe… and then, of course, I promptly lost it. I’m still not used to the simplicity of WHC’s dashboard, so I couldn’t find where to access Softaculous, and it took a little bit of finessing to finally get the link to open (no shortcuts, no links – I’m still not sure what I clicked on to get it to open). And yes, I did try to reset my password from the login page with my email, but those emails never arrived in my inbox (or spam). Thankfully, I decided to click around and not rage delete everything.

    Rest assured, there are now several post-its hidden around my office with my login info so that this doesn’t happen again.

    So, what has happened in the last month?

    Nothing too much, to be honest. I did end up completing my practicum successfully, and I graduated from my transcription program with merits. I received my transcript, but I am still waiting for my diploma to show up. I’ve decided to take the summer off before pursuing my side hustle. I might consider writing my RHDS exam first to get my credential before looking for a job, but that still is something I am going back and forth on.

    Aside from that, I’m just been working and trying to rest. The weather has been crazy, going between scorching heat and thunderstorms and rain, and it’s been detrimental to any yardwork. I thought I could get ahead of the rain by getting out early in the morning, but I just ended up getting eaten alive by mosquitos before I could get any work done. The mosquitos this year are different, and the bites that I’ve gotten had morphed into these awful blisters that refuse to heal. I don’t know if I’m reacting/allergic to them, but holy shit, dude. The worst is that they’ll stop itching for a couple of days and then all of a sudden, they’ll get so itchy that I end up almost in tears from the discomfort. Their favourite spot seems to be my elbows and the back of my knees. They’re not phased by deet either. I did manage to get my youngest daughter’s room in order, though. Six giant diaper boxes of clothes to donate, and some toys. Uncovered a lot of stuffies that I thought were lost and found her stash of sippy cups (thankfully they were all recoverable and not nasty). This weekend I will be focusing on my own bedroom, and work my way through the mainfloor by the end of August.

    That’s the plan. Fingers crossed.

    I was going to make a post dedicated to this band, and I still might, but I need to share this band that I found – To The Grave. They came across my Instagram reels the other day, and I have been obsessed ever since. Vegan deathcore from Australia. Absolutely delightful, fucking brutal, and filthy.

    Obviously, trigger warning for violence/gore/et cetera. I am so in love. And the fact that they already have a good catalogue on Spotify for me to work through… *chef’s kiss.*

    Now that I’ve gotten my login information back, I am making plans to post more. Getting some content outlined and ready to go… it feels good to have some creative juices flowing, now that school is not occupying the entirety of my free time.

    Blessed new moon in Cancer and blessed Deipnon.

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  • Daily Life,  Now Playing

    001. Starting over (again).

    June 3, 2026

    Welcome to Trash Bat. bat favicon

    There is still a lot of work to be done around here, but the bones are finally done.

    Feeling pretty good about this new space, and I am feeling excited about posting again. Things are starting to wrap up with my transcription program (in the middle of my practicum right now – then I have 2 more exams to do, and then I’m finally done), and I am going to be so happy to be done with it and finally graduate. Once that’s done, it’s going to free up a lot of my time and hopefully lift a lot of the mental/creativity blocks that I’ve been having.

    I have to say that I am not enjoying my practicum. My facilitator is… difficult, to say the least. No positive reinforcement at all, kind of passive-aggressive and very quick to point out how I am pretty much doing everything wrong. I dread handing in my hours because I know I’m going to get one of her very long emails telling me how much I suck. The email I got last week almost made me tell her where to go and how to get there, but my Charlie stopped me, reminding me that I’d be throwing away 2 years of hard work when I was almost at the end. So… 2 more weeks to go and I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

    The weather here has been swinging between its-so-hot-I’m-going-to-die and my absolute favourite, rain with a cool breeze. I wish it would stay the latter, because I don’t do well in heat and the more rain we have, the less concern there is for fire. Considering that I am surrounded by forest, fire is not desirable. Fire season has already started, though. Sad to say that it’s getting earlier and earlier every year, and it dominates everything going on. I had wanted to set up a little fire pit for Beltaine and have a night of merriment and dance, but our area was slapped with a campfire/personal burning ban almost immediately. I hope one day I get to have a fire at Beltaine without the fear, but it’s not worth the authorities getting involved or possibly setting my yard on fire.

    Hoping to get outside this weekend… mow the lawn and do some clean up. The backside of the property has re-wilded quite a bit, which I love, but I need to clean up. Lots of rotten poplars that need to be taken care of, and there is a lot of cleaning up from the deer and the cows that wander through that needs to be done. I also have a massive ant hill that I need to take care of, and I haven’t the slightest idea how I am going to do that, simply because of how big the ant hill is. If it were in the yard or in the back of the property, I would leave it alone, but it’s right where we park our vehicles, and I don’t want my car to be full of ants or the hillside to collapse.

    Esoterik put out a new song a little while ago, and I’m pretty obsessed with it, so I need to share:

    I really love the new direction that they’re going in, and I can’t wait until their new album is released.

    Anyhow. Going to head to bed. Going to continue working on things here, and I am hopefully going to get some buttons and whatnot designed. I downloaded a graphics program… I think it’s called GIMP? Something like that, anyhow. I opened it up, and it took me right back to my Jasc PSP 7 days. Giant kick in the nostalgia.

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